A large white envelope appeared on my kitchen table last week. I meant to write about this sooner, but life sometimes makes it hard to return to the land of blogging, so forgive me if I’ve been away.
I GOT IN!
A long time ago, when I was in my late teens/early twenties, my brother applied to a creative writing program. I was impressed by his audacity to think that he could write that well (and he can!) But, it was hard for me to imagine myself in the same way. I thought that I belonged on the side of the academics and the critics, not the creators. But, my friends, I am happy to say that I was wrong.
So, this acceptance to the Vermont College of Fine Arts means many things to me:
1) It means that I my writing must be pretty good if I can get into a GRADUATE LEVEL WRITING PROGRAM. OMFG…is that even possible! It IS possible because it is happening.
2) I must be kind of smart still and haven’t gone stupid working for the man…which has always been my biggest fear really…
3) That now is the time for me to really invest in myself and that means going for the scholarship even if I don’t think that I really deserve it because that is more about my own sense of self worth then actual fact.
Again, I am amazed by my own willingness to come to conclusions about myself and my talent that don’t make any sense. How many years have I believed that I couldn’t apply for something because I wasn’t smart enough? How many years did I not try out for something because I believed that I wasn’t talented enough? How many years did I write within the confines my journal because I didn’t think that I had anything important to say? And who knows if I do now…but at least I am not afraid to let the world see it.