Random Thoughts on Things

I have not had a good couple of weeks. I have been seriously considering some major life changes and put the pieces in place to make that happen, but I am not a very patient person and the waiting makes me very anxious. I wish that I could be one of those people who could be just so “zen” about things. “Go with the flow” and all of that jazz. There are only a few people I have met who seem to have mastered this. I am not one of those people. I am the person who will do whatever they can to seek out and find ways to make things happen and when nothing does ponders what I did wrong. Maybe I didn’t do anything wrong. Waiting is part of life. This is my lesson. I am failing.

I received an email from the VCFA Admissions’s office yesterday telling me that all of the pieces are in place and that I will probably hear back in six to seven weeks. If you read this, please send out happy “accepting” thoughts for me. As I really want to go to this school. I think that it would give me a sense of purpose and direction that I truly need. It would help me solidify so much of what I wish to do. The little bit of glee that I get even receiving an email from the admissions office tells me that this is just so right for me. I only hope that the powers that be there see it too. It was good to receive that email yesterday. It meant that things were moving. Now, I just have to do that waiting thing again.

This month I have some vacation time that I have to use up before the end of the fiscal year, so I have a series of 4-day weekends. I love this because I get to spend most of my time on my writing/research life rather than the other part of my life. (Although I am grateful as it is the part of my life giving me money for things like food and clothing.)

Yesterday, I plunked myself down at a table at a Second Cup in the middle of the city with my laptop, notebook and Montgomery articles and emerged myself. A few hours later, I looked up from it all and realized that I got so much work done. It was like I was watching myself in action and I really liked what I saw. I edited some of the novel, read through two or three articles and wrote down some pretty clever ideas for the paper that I am writing for the conference. For the first time in a number of weeks, it felt like I was home with myself.

Later, I met up with R and we talked through some of my blocks with the novel. He totally saw why I had a problem and by talking with him, I felt a little bit better about where to go and what to do. He said that I built up the action really well and he was right there with me so it was no wonder I didn’t know where to go next. We came up with some ideas and I am looking forward to exploring how it will all go. The funny thing is, like much of the good parts of the novel, I didn’t even know about it until I was actually writing it.

I wonder if that happens with other writers? Is it like life? The best things happen when you aren’t looking…


About Melanie J. Fishbane

MAUD, my YA novel based on the teen life of author L.M. Montgomery will be published by Penguin Random House on April 25, 2017. I hold an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults from the Vermont College of Fine Arts. Here I talk about my writing process, things I love, and creative people who inspire me.
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