Distractions or am I giving myself a day off?

Is it okay to take a day off?

I have been working really hard at my day job and I have just heard that I passed my course work for this program I took last year so I can now add Spiritual Director to my resume. A Spiritual Director or (SD) is a person who helps people through spiritual crisis of faith. It is non-dogmatic, which is what attracted me to it in the first place, and the process of supporting some one through a difficult period feels very positive.

It is because of this course, that I was able to see beyond my many neurosis and see that it is all about self-expression and writing for me and when I don’t tap into this, I slowly lose a part of myself. It is why I think that I felt so disconnected from myself for such a long period of time. Whether or not I am “good” isn’t the question anymore. It is more about the fact that it is an intrinsic part of who I am. I don’t have a choice. I have to write.

And there are days like today where I don’t have to go to my day job and I think to myself that it is a perfect day to write, read and reflect on what has been going on. What I do know is that I am tired. I am pulled in the direction of the “to do list” and the deep desire to do absolutely nothing.

To be frank, I have spent the most of the morning jumping through the many online distractions that are out there. From Facebook and my new profile on Twitter, (handle Mely73 if anyone is interested) to email, it is amazing to me that one can spend hours doing practically nothing but basically wasting time. It is fascinating that I am allowing myself to do this too.

Oh but the guilt. The anxiety. There is so much “to do” and I finally have the day to do it.

Yet, I look around and the cat and the dog have chosen to nap in the sun. They seem to have no problem making the choice.

Am I allowed to take a day off or am I just avoiding…


About Melanie J. Fishbane

My novel, MAUD: A Novel Inspired by the Life of L.M. Montgomery was published in 2017 through Penguin Random House on April 25, 2017. I hold an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults from the Vermont College of Fine Arts. Here I talk about my writing process, things I love, and creative people who inspire me.
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